How to talk about work with friends
Not to be masochistic, but among friends and neighbours a common topic of conversation between men is our occupations. “What do you do?” is a common question and conversation starter. As we all know, sometimes it is difficult to explain what we do to those outside of our business. There are people that I have known for years that still don’t really understand what it is that I do at work.
What do you do?
Partially this is caused by the relative youth of the Information Technology fields. Other fields with a longer history have a high degree of context. The Butcher, Baker and Candle Stick Maker are all occupations that are so well understood that they are almost self explanatory. A Systems Administrator or Database Administrator are relatively new and unknown, but they share something with the butcher and maker in that they sound like what they are.
The challenge of history
My first job was doing technical support, and my mother still tells people that I ‘fix computers’ for a living. Consequently her acquaintances continue to try to get free support from me. (Don’t even get me started on what my Father-in-law thinks I do.) I may still have some abilities here, but this is not my job. It is like saying that a surgeon gives people shots. Certainly the surgeon has this skill, but this is not what he does. (And you will have a much less painful experience if you just let the nurse give you the shot. Trust me.)
So how do I explain what I do? The first rule is to realize that the part of this job that are exciting to you and me, won’t really translate to conversation with your neighbour hood storekeeper, farmer, or even teacher. So I recommend not trying. This does not mean that I don’t talk about it. This means that I start with what is easily understood and then work towards Integration Engineering.
Lie
Okay, that may be harsh. But really saying, “I am a computer programmer.” Only requires explanation if there is a follow up question. This might come as more and more people dabble in programming. (And really, “computer programmer” is a rather nebulous term anyway.) When you say this in at a parent-teacher conference or other semi-social occasion it lets you answer the question and move on to the topic at hand.
Dodge
Again, this is not meant to be harsh. Say something like, “I work in procurement/supply chain management/on computers is still easy to understand, and is more accurate. It keeps the relationship with your priest honest, but it doesn’t put him to sleep. If you try this one on, you will come up with a very effective dodge that is entirely accurate but does not put people into comas or confuse them. (Always gauge your audience and chose the level of detail carefully.)
Be honest
Normally honesty is the best policy. Sometimes that works here too. “I do supply chain automation and integration. But generally if I go into detail I put people to sleep. It is very exciting to do, but deathly boring to discuss.” There, I have been honest and tried to explain why I am shutting the door on further conversation. I have found that this one works well after your Mom or your spouse has just tried to explain what you do, and mangled it to the point that the “lie” and the “dodge” will no longer work.
So what do you do?
I mean, what do you do when asked what you do. Do you have a pat answer or do you fumble each time trying to maintain conciousness in your listeners? Or do you have no trouble with this because you don’t have any social engagements that don’t involve your co-workers? Post your answers to this simple question, “What do you do?”
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